Friday, December 22, 2006

Preparing the Execution Chamber

Six days left - but only two business days! It's an odd feeling to know that this is the last Friday I'll ever sit at this desk.

One of the good things about knowing well in advance that I'm going to be terminated is that I can set the stage where the terminations will be taking place. The person who will be letting all of us go is coming in from another part of the country and I have taken the liberty of modifying the room where it will all go down.

First, I have made the room look as sparse and empty as possible. There is no computer and no phone, no plants - just three chairs around an empty desk. I don't want the Executioner to be able to rest his/her eyes on anything other than the termin-ee or a blank wall.

Second, I have added two small things that will probably go unnoticed: above the door to the room I have hung a sign that says "The Abattoir" (it looks larger in the picture than it actually is). That's a fancy word for Slaughterhouse.

I also hung a small picture of Woody Allen walking with Death from the movie Love & Death. Other than that the walls are bare. A little bit of gallows humor to help the agents through.

Now, on to the contest. I guess I am not that surprised by the lack of entries in the CCSCDM contest. I don't want to come off as mean-spirited, but I think it has something to do with the prize. So I'm going to throw in two more items to sweeten the pot. The first is MY headset. Yes, CCCM was always prepared to jump into the fray if call volumes got out of control. So if you are the first one with the correct answer, you'll receive my Plantronics monaural headset. This item will be signed and is suitable for display. The second is the package of Pop Tarts from the snack machine. That's right, CCCM will apply his considerable strength to jar the Pop Tarts from their current resting place. If this doesn't get the contest ball rolling, I don't know what will. Maybe some more clues? Here's that email address again


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