14 Days Left - Someone stole the soap

Friends, I'll use a little nautical imagery to describe our situation ....the decks are awash, we can't bail fast enough and we're getting the life boats ready. We close in 14 days (9 business days not counting Christmas).

Stanley, the 150-year-old company janitor, came up to my desk this morning and said "Someone stole the soap! I had a big jug of Softsoap to fill up the little dispensers in the bathrooms and its gone missing!" I looked at him blankly and shrugged my shoulders. He kept on, "I had a whole big container to fill up the little dispensers and it's gone!" "Stanley", I said, "I don't know what to tell you...." He said, "That's not the point, someone swiped the soap!" I have no idea what he expected me to do about it, but the way he was badgering me it seemed like he wanted me to launch a full investigation. He's always doing something like this. Last month it was about vacuum cleaner bags. So finally I said, "Stanley, we have 9 business days left here, we're being closed down. I don't care what happened to the Softsoap." He didn't like that response.